Lunchtime Regulations

First, I must have a spoon in each hand. Then a third spoon may be placed in my mouth with food upon it. I then will grab the spoon in my teeth, while allowing the food to make its way into my mouth, but mostly onto my face. When I deem it appropriate I will pass the third spoon back to you by method of spitting it at you. You may then place more food upon the spoon for my consumption. If these instructions are not followed to a T, I shall become quite, quite angry. Thank you for your strict adherence to the lunchtime regulations.